50 Shades Freed--Chapter 12 (Part I)In which we get a lot of backstory that makes very little sense, Ana victim-blames and indulges in pop psychology, Grey whines about Ana safewording, i.e. doing something that is standard practice in BDSM, and Ana effectively gives Grey permission to abuse her, telling him that she will love him “no matter what ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Freed--Chapter 11 (Part II)ELJ’s Sex Torture Scene. Not graphic, but not worksafe. Warnings for physical, emotional and sexual abuse, sexual situations, sexual assault, non-specific threats, Ana’s pedophiliac attitude, potential triggers, general DO NOT WANT, and rape ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Freed--Chapter 10 (Part II)In which there is quite a lot of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff, circumstantial evidence indicates that Grey was behind Jack Hyde’s attempted kidnapping of Ana, Ana behaves like Grey’s three-year-old daughter, Grey tells Ana overtly that he “wants to beat the shit out of her” and that he is “bitter” about ( Read more... )

50 Shades Freed--Chapter Ten (Part I)

In which Ana fails to understand everything about the crime committed offscreen in the previous chapter, the allegedly antagonist is completely ineffectual, police officers finally appear onscreen in this series, and ELJ appears to have mistakenly written Christian Grey as the person who hired the criminal.

Fifty Shades Freed--Chapter9 (Part I)In which I post earlier than Tuesday because of a blizzard warning, Ana is abruptly shocked by cunnilingus (after the twentieth time), Christian expects Ana to be able to run a company without actually working, Ana develops amnesia about a lot of subjects that have come up within the past few chapters, the ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Freed--Chapter 7 (Part III)In which Grey wants to fuck Ana at work because “you’re my wife”, despite Ana saying no out loud to his face multiple times; Ana cannot keep track of her own canonical timeline; bothering people is an achievement; Grey has “floppy sex-hair” despite NOT having had sex with Ana; Ana tells Grey to his face that ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Freed--Chapter Five (Part I)In which Ana panics for no good reason; Grey imitates Edward Cullen at his creepiest; Ana recalls a honeymoon in which she was either in tears or terrified of angering her husband as "blissful"; Grey gives Ana a completely unnecessary Jet Ski lesson; Grey threatens the the incorrect person with mutilation; ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Freed--Chapter Four (Part III)In which we see the most clichéd love scene in the history of the world; Grey makes a statement filled with plotholes, leading Ana to jump to a ludicrous conclusion; Versailles is dragged into this book and is dissed by Grey; the timeline turns into a Möbius strip; and Ana's Symbolic Dream symbolizes the ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Freed--Chapter Four (Part II)

In which there is a long, long sex scene, Ana claims that she wants to be sexually objectified, and Grey ignores all words and behavior that spell out “NO.”

50 Shades Freed--Chapter 4 (Part I)In which Grey becomes furious when Ana does something independent; Ana, who hates shopping, goes shopping; Taylor, the chief bodyguard, gets a speaking part for a change; Ana buys an accessory probably intended to suggest that Ana is a “natural sub”; the emails start flying again, and we learn the date that this ( Read more... )